It is day 6206 of my tenure here at the world headquarters of the Professional Napping Circuit. Staff still needs remedial training every day, and I have concerns that they truly do not understand my role as Supreme Feline Overlord of Napping. I am known as Lord Snoozen by the staff and all underlings. A chosen few know me as Pixel.
As with our Chief Napping Officer and Chief Snoozability Officer, I was rescued by my human so that I could bring the order and stability needed in their lives. Humans can be so forgetful. Luckily, my humans have me to remind them daily of the need for sustenance, both food, and treats, as well as good napping facilities. As part of my superior intelligence, I saw the need to recognize the sport of Professional Napping. That is why I founded The Professional Napping Circuit.
I will let you in on a secret. My humans think they founded The Professional Napping Circuit. I let them think that. It is so much easier to get them to do my bidding if they believe it is their own idea. For example, they pride themselves on the fact that they get up at 5:00 am every day. What they do not know is that at 4:55 every morning, I use my feline mind control to wake them up. I sit on the bed, staring at them until they understand it is time to wake and feed me. They also like to refer to my house as their house. Silly humans, don’t they know that I just let them live here to serve me? It’s okay though. I am quite fond of them.
I am passionate about the plight of homeless Professional Nappers and want to encourage everyone to adopt a shelter pet. For the month of November, 50% of the proceeds from our online store will go to Safe Harbor Farm Pet Rescue. You can learn more about Safe Harbor Farm here.
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